It’s January! Or, as I like to think of it, that time of year when we make horribly demanding plans, that we don’t really want to execute, because we feel like we should be planning such things.


On the 31st, my mother calls me in the middle of the afternoon, which is unusual since we’ve already had a chat earlier on when I was on my way back from my annual physical (everything is fine; ‘your vital organs are in excellent shape,’ said the doctor. HOW?? said MinCat.). MinCat, she begins with no preamble, do you smoke?

Ah well. It had to happen some day. And honestly I thought they’d have figured it out by now. Anyway, some explaining and some unanswerable questions (BUT WHY?!?!?!) later, we ended the conversation on amicable terms and she hasn’t mentioned it since. My poor parents. They are very put upon.

This, coupled with the success of cut back on booze October, have led me to make two plans for the new year. First, I do want to stop smoking again. I guess I’ll always feel the temptation for a smoke when I’m drinking with all my chimney friends, but I’d like it to go back to being the occasional ciggie and stop being the nearly every day scene. But then, I am also going to have to drink less often, and less. Which is not a bad thing (empty calories as my nutritionist says, clearly not appreciating the sheer value of a warm fuzzy buzz to a depressed person). So the second plan I’m making is to stop drinking rotgut and switch to wine, which I tend to drink slower and less of anyway. And, since Amma says it will reassure them greatly, I will log my alcohol intake and report it honestly. Please note, neither plan says I’m stopping.

Plan #3 is of course eat better, and goes hand in hand with plan #4, which is MinCat stop bellyaching and go for a fucking walk already.

Plan #5 is to keep up the good work on the people front, by which I mean that I will continue to repeat my mantra (Not. My. Problem.) and not believe people love me till they do something to prove it. This has worked very well for reducing drama.

Now that I’ve written all this out I’m coming to feel like there’s a theme to my plan, which we shall call MASTERPLAN 2014!

Stay in control.