For someone who has only heard about three songs by the Rolling Stones, and has always thought Mr J is repulsive rather than attractive, it is rather ironic that he has become my guru. Well, maybe not my guru so much as his song has become my mantra.
Because, you see, you CAN’T always get what you want.
So the thing is, you know how people always walk around under the belief that, while bad things happen, they don’t happen to me? It may not be a conscious belief–in fact it rarely is–but on some level, while we know bad things do happen, we think we will escape, even if they happen to the ones we love the most. ‘There but for the grace of God…’
A corollary of this seems to be the equally strong belief that we get what we want, as long as we are patient or proactive, depending on the school of thought.
But very little observation will quickly reveal that neither of these is true! People often get shafted by the universe, and very many kind and deserving people just never get what they want. Sometimes you get something else and realize it is, also in the immortal words of Mr J, it’s what you need. Sometimes you realize you didn’t really want it after all, whether you get it or not. But enough times, you want it and you don’t get it, no matter what you do.
And yet, somehow, we seem incapable of actually accepting this fact.
Someone has to be in that group. Maybe one of those someones is me. And before there is a chorus of of course nots, let me say that this is not an emotional melodramatic statement. It’s just a statement. And just as we will never know we won’t get what we want, we never know we will either. The problem only comes in when our belief is pushing us in the direction of thinking yes it will happen, because then we are always in a state of pre-excitement, which just means we get disappointed too much. And then, when we think we won’t get it, we are in a state of pre-disappointment, and that’s really hard to deal with too. The important thing I guess is to just accept that sometimes people just don’t get what they deserve. Accepting that I think has really helped me turn the corner on the horror of the past six months. I might actually be emerging from the hole for reals this time ladies and gents–two weeks meltdown free…touch wood =)