Each year, when my sister is here and my cousins visit, we gather around the table for my grandma to prod our palms and produce occult pronouncements like “Ah yes, you’ll want to get married after you have a physical relationship”–to The Snoog, who proceeded to gulp in shock till Scoo dived in to the rescue.

Now Nona is famous among many for the accuracy of her occult pronouncements (you can’t really argue–once you have a physical relationship, you are more open to marriage, unless you’re a bit of a ho like me). She told a friend of mine, who desperately wanted to study in Germany, that he wouldn’t–but he’d study abroad all right, and use his German. He studied in the UK and is now in Switzerland. She told me, on the 2nd of January 2011, that I shouldn’t fret about work–it would sort itself out in 15 days. Penguin called on 17th January. She told me at Deepavali that after 15th November all the things that had been bothering me over the past three years would begin to chill out–I found Career, evolved the right kind of relationship for me, and have a truckload of friends in Delhi now. She also told me I’d be promoted, and I was, on the 1st of November or something like that.

This time, her pronouncement for me was this: You’ll have a very good year, with a very interesting middle. Will I go to Colombia, I asked. That’s a very specific question she said. Okay, I said, Will I travel? Yes, short trips, about 15 days at a time. And also on work. Oh, also, you’ll find yourself in a permanent relationship in May.

It was my turn to gulp like a beached goldfish.

What does it say about me that the one sentence I’ve been waiting to hear from her for ten years, when it finally came, my reaction was: What! May?!?! No! That’s too soon!!!

Of course we’ve been referring to the proposed arrival as May-kaaran, or May-man. Though apparently there’s a delectable double meaning in Tamil that I don’t remember.However, Universe, if you’re listening, May-kaaran better be able to furnish our house from Fab India ;)

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