I’ve noticed, over the past few months, that I’m just getting bitchier. It’s really not cool. I’ve always been sassy, and happy about it; you know, one of those people who tease other people and give smartass responses to things. But somewhere along the way I’ve become just plain mean. It’ like i crossed over from protecting myself by not caring what other people say, to not caring what I say about to other people!

I was trying to figure out why, or where it comes from. BBot says it started in July, and Dragon agrees. The current theory is that my stress level ramped up insanely because I didn’t get my scholarship, and a lot was riding on it for me. I was also hating living at home again, feeling like I lost my independence, and that my life was, again, heading nowhere fast.

Granted, these are all excellent reasons to be stressed and upset, and I deeply appreciate all the people who put up with me all this time, but, first, even if it were okay to do that, the stress is gone now, so wtf; and, second, it is not okay to do that!

It’s a very strange phenomenon of human nature that we all tend to behave the worst with the people we love the most. Granted, the logic of them understanding best does hold true, but sometimes I think that very acceptance is a very good reason to refrain from treating people we love like punching bags. It’s a fine line between venting and taking someone for granted. Often the recipients of the nastiness know what it is and refrain from mentioning it, but then slowly the mean person stops noticing when they’re doing it.

Anyway, since I had to go and wash a ridiculous number of dishes right now, my train of thought has left me far behind, so I shall leave it here. Thoughts?

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