OOF told me, most graciously, last night at dinner, that I could fall in love with the current crush.
Eh??? you say? My reaction exactly.
Apparently I’m not heading towards neurotic depression this time, so it’s ok. Nevermind that no male in history has caused me more neurotic depression than OOF himself, I can see his point, cos things being the way they are he’s going to have to pat my back and hand me tissues through most of it.
I suppose what he meant to say was that this time I’m pretty much in control. Well, that’s how I choose to interpret it anyway!
I wonder why though. Could it be that of all the legions of men I have had crushes on, and the few I have been in love with, this is the first time I am convinced, for no logical reason whatsoever, that he likes me too? Could it be that I’ve finally hit upon a lovely delusional defence mechanism to avoid dealing with rejection, i.e. “knowing” he likes me, but waiting for him to make a move? Could it be that I’ve learnt, through trial and much error, how to hold back and not commit too much emotion to someone until I am given good reason? Or could it be that I’ve found that people come and go, lust comes and goes, and love comes and goes; there’s not much you can do about any of it except keep swimming?
The funny thing though, is that I think of it as a lesson to be learned; only, if I look closely, it’s a different story every time. So really, it’s more like the world’s newest lesson in history…