Singledom is one of those issues, like religion, that one must tread carefully around. I’ve noticed that many single people love it, and can’t bear the idea of being tied to a single person. Lots of paired people talk longingly of their carefree and delightful single days, or how they dread making the final commitment to one person. My views on THAT have been shared in the past. There are also the obviously deranged few, such as yours truly, who actively want to be in relationships.
A discussion with The Bride today raised the issue of social conditioning, and how we’re all, somewhere, brainwashed to want to pair up in a socially acceptable manner such as marriage. Now, while I’m perfectly happy to get married (and don’t see the point of not doing so to prove a point and rebel against the imposition of heterosexual monogamy by Society, while entering into legal agreements so complicated as to necessitate the equivalent of a divorce to dissolve) I’m equally open to whatever level of commitment a couple feels they need for security in a relationship. And, like religion, I think it’s something each person and each couple should come to terms with in isolation.
But then I start to think of me, and I wonder. Sometimes I watch myself living and thinking, and I cannot imagine how I can begin to admit another person into my space. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about the gross lady on the bus touching me, or feeling threatened by someone tapping my shoulder without an invitation in triplicate. There are times though, when it irritates me IMMENSELY that another person who is around me doesn’t figure out that normally gregarious me wants some alone time. I can’t imagine giving up my faithful bedfellow Apollo. What if said person always showers first, leaving me with the grossness of a wet bathroom? Or maybe he isn’t good about leaving the mat outside the bathroom door. What if he doesn’t rinse and soak dishes after he uses them?
Come come, you laugh, this is merely the normal glitches of any relationship, it’s probably happening with The Rommate as we speak.
True. But the difference between romantic partners and roommates is that there is an implied continuity of closeness about the former that there isn’t about the latter. There’s nowhere to run. Unless, as my wise aunt says, you have your own room nevermind where you sleep.
Still, you counter, you have to ride it out. And then you’ll figure out what works.
I agree. But I have noticed myself grow more and more rigid as time has gone by. And I also know that other people have only gotten worse with age. Of course, like anything, once you’ve done it once you know you can do it again, which removes a lot of the stress. There’s the rub, because, never having begun to be in a relationship, I can only imagine it getting harder to start adapting as time goes by.
Which means, ladies and germs, I have a problem.
Or, the trend is a sign, and I’ll never have that problem, cos I’ll never be in a relationship. A thought that I have alarmingly begun to eye with relief!