Sometimes I wonder if boys understand the Concept of Clean. Often they seem unable to recognise it, or the lack thereof. Perhaps I’m being unfair. Surely there exist Those-With-Penises who are aware of the existence of the concept. But I wonder, do they have any idea *how* it comes about? Or do they believe that the Blind Io will cause it to come to pass when they look thoughtfully at the stove? What of the little-known theory of Wipe the Stove When You’re Done, or its corollary, Clean the Sink After you Do the Dishes? Don’t they teach them at that special school where the Testicularly-Gifted go to learn to be mean to me?